Regarding Thinking

There are times in my life when I find myself thinking. It's at these times that I start to get very worried about my state of mind because what the hell, man? Do well-rounded, functional, relatively sane people think about these things too? I want to believe that's the case, but when I see others doing their taxes on time, buying groceries that will both A)provide nourishment, and B) leave their bowels intact after consumption, or god help them, being responsible in other ways, well...I somehow doubt that they're pondering high five etiquette and the force high fivers would need to bend a frying pan between the pair of them. Obviously, one would hold the frying pan tightly and thrust it forward while the other, hand sheathed in vibration resistant metal, makes good use of the "aim at the elbow" rule. But how much thrust is needed there, exactly? It must vary between brands and be much easier to do with say, ones that have copper cores. All this should take place well after meals, because if you're gonna buy a load of frying pans, you may as well get some use out of them before their impending destruction ensues.

Come to that, what would you call a lot of frying pans? I want to say a murder of frying pans because maybe murder doesn't have to be such a horrible, fear inducing word anymore but I guess that's really the observers decision, isn't it. It may be too hefty a task to try save the word "murder" as well...hmm.

Anyway, so these meals should be grand so as to get the most use out of the frying pans, with the final course being burned to cinders. That way it's not entirely frowned upon to...I don't want to say waste because their destruction can yield results of a kind, but certainly disposal of them won't
be given the face ugliness from passersby. Those pans will be wrecked. This is friggin' SCIENCE, PEOPLE! Gather ye frying pans while ye may, old time is still a-flying, and this same cookware that fries today, tomorrow will be dying.

Can inanimate things even die? I would think, no. On that same token, however, I would also spend my morning cup of coffee wondering (if he existed, naturally) whether or not Captain America would consent to having his Vibranium shield turned into gloves so he and I(after a generous dose of the Super Soldier Serum) can find the bending point of the worlds cookware. Because that's the best way to find out. Oh no, not that fancy, sane science.

COMIC BOOK SCIENCE! It's a thing.